Let's Do a Check-In

If someone were to ask me "How are you?" versus "How's it going?" I would respond drastically differently even if these two questions imply similar intent. Well, here's a trick: "it" could be going well in terms of work, family, and friendships, but I might be stressed about something else unrelated to those categories. When is the last time you have been asked one of those questions, or a question of the sort?

"How is work?"

"What's new?"

"What have you been up to?"

Are you catching my drift?

So, some people ask you these questions, but let's give a true and honest answer. It's okay to tell the truth. How many times would you respond with "I'm fine"/"All is well"/"Good, how are you?" when you genuinely don't feel that way? Maybe you're trying to be polite when people ask that question and you just want to get the conversation moving along. Well, guess what? Answer the question with truth. And if they have a problem with that maybe people should stop asking questions they don't want the answer to. So ask yourself the questions you want the answer to. Would you lie to yourself? The truth is the truth even if you or someone else refuses to acknowledge it. 1+2=3? You can choose to not believe it, but it's true. What do you have to gain by lying to yourself? Here are some things I do to check in with myself:

Journal

It's easy, efficient, in your own words, and you can do whatever you want. I also like how I can look back on thing I wrote and see my own personal growth. Maybe I was hoping for a job or was having problems with a friend. Seeing the change and growth and how I overcame a problem is one of the best ways to reflect on yourself.

Find Silence

Perhaps it's a form of journaling without the physical log of entries. If I'm driving in the car and I have a lot going on I just turn off the radio and center in on myself. I'll go through my day, what I'm nervous about, what I have on my mind, etc. Similarly, if the day is almost over I can reflect and think about what was going on, how I felt, what I could have done differently, if I wanted a different outcome, etc. You'd be surprised how much you distract yourself throughout the day until you find silence.

Find some perspective

I used to hate reading. You know, back when I was in school and had to read some lame-o book that was allegedly a classic. Now that I have started reading books I actually find interesting it feels great to read. I am almost done with the book The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly. It is a wonderful book! I would not classify it as a "self-help" book, however it does teach perspective. Perspective can be the best way to reflect on yourself. How are you being viewed by other people? Okay, wait, I know where you think this is going. Don't let your life revolve around other people's opinion on you. HOWEVER if you are not seeing your outward appearance to others you might have a skewed perception of yourself. Maybe you have good intentions toward a selfless deed, but with improper motivations you might come across negatively to others. I know many of you aren't in kindergarten anymore, so let's not forget what we learned: think before you act.

Now, you may be thinking "So what am I to do when I encounter problems among this check-in?" Well, I don't think I'm licensed to give medical or emotional advice so maybe seek a professional..? The whole point of a check-in is not necessarily to be constantly criticizing yourself, and don't get a big head either, we're all human. Things happen. Bad things happen by chance or by human fault. Good things happen by chance and by human fault. How are you coming back when you fall? How are you rejoicing in the accomplishment? What can you do to be the person you were meant to be?